Mother's Day

Fear not the Hand!

Of course I'm kidding. It's only a little bit scary if you're not expecting it. The nurses made this super-cool little Zach hand mold for me for Mother's Day...with support from Charlie's Buddies, an amazing little foundation that does all sorts of things to help and cheer NICU parents.

So I guess it goes without saying that Zach is not home for Mother's Day. That would have been a nice, poetic, Hallmark-y kind of way to end this whole long process, but he's not, so it's not, and here we are and life continues to go on.

Still, he's on his way. He passed the car seat test and he's been drinking all of his bottles today. That puts him on track for a Tuesday or Wednesday homecoming. I'm excited but trying to maintain some restraint so I'm more in the range of "cautiously optimistic."

Now I know I've been a little snarky/sarcastic about Mother's Day, but here's the thing about it: It helped me remember just how much fun it is to be a mom and how much I missed it when I was stuck in the hospital. Luke and I used to have outstanding adventures together all the time and I'm only just starting to be able to recapture that. I didn't even realize how much I missed all of the little things, like helping him get dressed, reading books, making him lunch, or having him help me cook. One of my favorite things is when he crawls into my lap to give me a hug and says, "Mommy, you're such a mommy."

*Sigh.* How did I ever manage to spend so much time away from him?

The other thing is being in awe of my mom, the unsung hero of the last two weeks. As soon as she got here, she just rolled up her sleeves and quietly got to work on cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry - exactly the kind of help I needed while I worked on recuperating and getting my life back together.

On Friday, Luke had a special Mothers' Day tea at his school and I asked my mom to come with us. She mulled it over and then told me that I should go with Luke alone: "It sounds like you need some special mommy time with him."

Of course she was right, and of course I had a great time with Luke. I only hope I can be so wise and selfless some day. Now I'm going to focus on getting Zach home so I can get some more good practice.